


Arthur comes home after he has been fired

by ArthurFlecksGirl



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:28:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26817367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl
Summary: Arthur is afaraid to come home to you after he lost his job
Relationships: Arthur Fleck - Relationship, Reader - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	Arthur comes home after he has been fired

Arthurs point of view:

´The view outside the window seems even more unreal than usual. Those bridges passing by. Skysrapers. People. People are the most unreal things of all. Even myself. Especially myself. And today it has reached a point when I can barely take it anymore. Everything`s a blurr. I try to recall the words Hoyt yelled at me, but I cant. Its all just....noise in my head right now. Not even music. Just this damn, aweful noise. The sound of shame. I`m ashamed of myself. Scared to come home to Y/N and tell her what just happened.   
The man she depends on, the man that makes her laugh all the time, the one that promised her to take care of her and pay rent just has been fired. For what? For not being good enough. They said I wasnt funny enough, which hurts me more than they could ever know. I work hard for my jokes. Well...maybe not on every joke. Sometimes they just come to me, its not even work then. But some days its hard and I pace around the apartment at 3am trying to figure out that one special punshline and it just won`t come easy.   
Stepping out that subway, walking those fucking stairs. Its exhausting. Life is. The only thing that makes sense....the only reason to live is her. Y/N. Her name alone is music in my ears. I know she won`t be mad at me what I tell her the truth. She never is. Thats what scares me the most. She can`t be mad at me. No matter if I lose my job or make a bad joke, or if I am being in a bad mood or even worse...being delusional. She never gets mad. I swear, I could kill someone and she wouldnt be mad at me.   
I`m turning the keys,unlock that door. Entering this apartment always felt wrong to me. Even though it was the only place I veer lived in. It never felt like mine. It was Pennys. I didnt even had my own room. I have now that she is at the hospital and it finally feels right to get home. Because Y/N is waiting for me. She probably wiill kiss me on the forehead after I got through that door. She is the only person who ever loved me for who I am. She sees me. 

"Darling I`m home".  
Y/N is walking up to me, helping me to get out of my jacket and there it is. The kiss on the forehead. I love these little things. Rituals.  
"Artie, whats wrong?"  
She knows me. She knows me too well. I hold her face between my hands. I know that she loves this. Y/N told me so many times. Telling me how gentle my hands are. My heart is still smiling thinking of her words. She pays attention to every little detail. She observes me. Which I love. Her attention is like medicine. And I swallow it. Pill after pill. The only pill that makes me feel better actually.  
I give her a sloppy kiss on the lips before I light myself a cig and sit dow on the couch without saying a word.  
Y/N sits down beside me, touching my hand. She knows that something is wrong. I ook around the room and realize how much of a home this shitty place has become since she is by my side. I feel save with her. I know I can tell her anything. But still...maybe she`ll be disappointed in me, even if she doesnt show it? I dont want to disappoint her. I can`t. I just can`t.  
I take a deep drag of my cig and close my eyes while her hand strokes mine. It feels good. her fingertips....  
"Y/N....I....I dont know how to tell you this...I was just packing my stuff for the next day....you know...Carnivals costume and the pocket mirrors. Stuff like that" I blow out the smoke, feeling anxious.  
"Okay, sweetheart. What happened?"  
"Hoyt. He...."   
This is so hard. Telling her this is killing me.  
"...fired me. I lost my job. I`m a bad clown. Not only that. I am abad boyfriend. I thought I was a good one. I though I could give you something. I actually thought I was funny. "   
I feel my eyes watering as she squeezes my hand.  
"I`m sorry...I ....I am not. I am not funny at all. I should have listened to my mother. She always told me I cannot be a comedian if I am not even funny. She knew better. My mum was right. I am sorry Y/N, baby. I am sooo sooo sorry. " The laughter wants to come out. It crawls up my throath. I hold it back. Its choking me so I let it out. Harder than expected. I cant even finish my cig. I put it into the ashtray. It hurts. It all fucking hurts. The laughter. The fact that I just told her how much of a loner I am.  
Y/N pulls me close to her chest, petting the back of my head, her fingers in my hair "Shhhht Artie. Its okay. Let it all out. I`m here. I`m right here with you. " I can feel her touching my curls, which makes me feel protected somehow. She touches my hair likeit means something to her. Like I mean something.   
"I d-disapponted you....hahahaah" Why cant I just cry? It would make it all easier. For both of us. Why am I like this?  
"You could never disappoint me, Arthur. "  
"But....I lost my job!"  
"I know...but thats not the end of the world. We can do this. And Penny has no idea how to have a good laugh. You shouldnt listen to her or Hoyt. Listen to your heart. If you feel like its a good joke, it is. You got a great sense of humor. Dont let them tell you any different. EVER."  
"You think so?" I notice my own tired voice . "How am I supposed to pay rent now?" I`m sobbing into her arms. Like a little boy. Laughing into her sweater while she tries to calm my bouncing leg with her left hand.   
"It will be okay. We will figure it out together"  
I sit up to face her "He said I wasnt funny enough. But he couldnt tell me why. What do you think it is? is it my face expression? Is it not intense enough? Am I forgetting to make eye contact with the crowd? " I run my fingers through my hair "Its my hair, right? I should have worn slick back hair more often. Are my clothes not decent enough? " I look down on myself "Look at this. Its all worn out. They can tell that I´m poor. That cheap cologne ....thats what they noticed, right? Or is it that I am just a freak? Oh Y/N....please tell me why I lost my job. Please!"  
She takes me deeper into her arms. Her love is like a shelter. The home I have never known when I was younger. The loving arms I dreamed about all those endless nights at Arkham state hospital.   
"You got fired because you deserve better, Artie. You dont belong to those bullies. You dont belong in the same room with Randall and Hoyt and most of the other guys. You are much better than that. They`re blind, cold hearted and they dont even deserve to hear your jokes."  
Y/N`s wordsease my wounds. She truly loves me.  
"Why do you love me so much?" I ask her.  
"Because I know you by heart" she kisses me on the lips. My tear stained lips. I must taste salty. I must taste like darkness.  
"Mhhhh" she whisperes "You taste like sunlght...or wait....no...you taste like the dim light of a candle burning in the corner of the room while we`re making love to each other. That one single, warm flame which drowns the room into a cosy atmosphere in which you feel save".  
I touch her cheek "Thats how I taste to you?"  
She nodds.  
"Trust me Artie, there is nothing wrong with you. Its just that.... not everyone is worthy of your light. Some might never see it. Amd thats okay. We have each other , right?"  
"Right" I feel the corner of my mouth lifting. Thats when I realize tha laughter has been gone.   
I smile.  
"Hey Y/N" I whisper into her ear "Wanna hear a joke?"  
"Always, Artie" she says and I can tell from the love into her eyes that no matter how many people would laugh at me, there will always be that special someone who laughs with me.  
My one and only person.


End file.
